Fist Bump with Love

our hands together


I’m all about the fist bump

not because I’m trying to be cool

not because I have OCD

not because of Howie Mandel

but because I’m not a big hugger.

These days most people hug hello

and hug goodbye

every time they see each other…

Some people hug the first time they meet.

I’m a Midwestern, Minnesota girl

I wasn’t raised to hug.

Don’t get me wrong

I love a good hug

if I haven’t seen you for a while


if I won’t see you for a while


if it’s a special day like your birthday or mine


if it’s a wonderful family/friend get together for Christmas or Easter

then, I’m good with a hug.

But if I saw you yesterday

and I’m going to see you again tomorrow

or next week



can we skip the hug or greet with a quick, loving fist bump?

And I want you to know

that I am sending all my love

and wishing you health and happiness and prosperity and safety and goodwill and all positive energy

through that fist bump.

I love you

my family

my friends

but I can’t hug

I can’t kiss

I can’t half-hug with a cheek-to-cheek half-kiss

at every meeting.

It is not natural to me

it makes me uncomfortable

it makes me try to avoid you

and I don’t want to avoid you

it’s the opposite

I want to be close to you

but I can’t do it with a hug

I’ve tried

I have tried

I guess the fist bump is just my way of hugging comfortably


Going a little deeper here…

I’m not sure why I’m this way or why I haven’t been able to change this, but I’m tired of not being honest with myself or authentic with the people I love.

I have hidden, gone to the bathroom, stuffed food in my face – all to avoid the hug… it doesn’t work and it’s exhausting.

I’ve stayed seated, picked up objects, and jumped into deep conversations with others to avoid the hug… it doesn’t work and it’s exhausting.

Plus, my behavior makes me look like a jerk.

I love huggers. I think it’s beautiful, and I’m kind of jealous that I’m not one.

I’m facing this, so my relationship can be better. I’m thankful for my friends who respect my feelings and give me the fist bump without hassle. I’m thankful for my friends who come running at me with wide open arms pretending they are going to give me a big hug. I’m thankful for my other friends who also are not big huggers.

I know I’m blessed and lucky to have such great loving people in my life… huggers and non-huggers… hand shakers and fist bumpers…


Are you a hugger, or are you a fist bumper?

3 thoughts on “Fist Bump with Love

  1. We are a very affectionate family and show our love by way of hugs, affectionate pats and at times kisses. It does become a bit embarassing for me when this happens very frequently, so I guess I’m not much of a hugger either.
    Great post.


  2. I’m with you here!!! I’ve never been that comfortable with physical demonstrations unless I really know a person well or it’s some special hug-inducing occasion. Close talkers make me really nervous. And it’s not that we’re unsocial or unloving. We just have a personal space that we like to maintain. Thanks for being open about this. I’m gonna share it!!


  3. Well, this gave me something to think about. Usually I don’t mind it and just figure I’ll get it over with. There is one former inlaw that tends to cling when hugging, so yes I avoid that person. And very rarely I am I the one to initiate a hug unless it’s someone very close to me. I have been told I’m anti-social because of it, but I just didn’t grow up in a hugging family.


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