#Listen to Your #Body…

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Today’s Challenge: Listen to your body.

I know I’m going through something serious when my body tells me… When I have DEEP feelings of fear, confusion, and rejection, my body reacts. My stomach does flips and refuses all food. When I can’t eat, I start to drop weight. Sleeping through the night is impossible because my mind won’t, can’t relax. I get headaches and sometimes have tightness in my chest–my heart might even decide to beat at a faster pace than needed.

Clearly, when this happens, I’m in a state of fight or flight. In other words, I need to either fight for my rights, needs, life… or I need to run like crazy and get the He** away from the problem.

The decision causes more havoc on me and my body. What should I do? Should I stay and fight or should I run? That fear of the unknown sets in… Scary!

But what is even scarier, is to do nothing. To let your body stay in that fight or flight mode for weeks, months, years…

… causing illness, depression, addiction, rage…

Sometimes our body is screaming at us to be brave and stand up to our fears… but usually our body is simply saying, “Please listen to me.”

Don’t Let #Depression or #Sadness Keep You Down

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Today’s Challenge: Don’t let depression or sadness keep you down.

Acknowledge you’re not feeling like yourself. Tell yourself it’s OK, you’ll get through it. Do something different… force yourself to be around people–even if you simply go to a coffee shop and hang out with strangers, get up and move around, do some meditation and deep thinking about your life and future, set a couple small goals that stir excitement–even if the excitement only lasts a minute, it’s a start–turn off the TV and listen to music instead, start a journal, think about what you enjoyed doing when you were a kid, EXERCISE: go for a walk, clean your house, dance in your living room, try yoga or kickboxing… if you can’t find a way out of the darkness, reach out for help.

You deserve happiness.

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My world has been crazy sad lately because of my sweet Pug’s health issues. This morning we are going back to the vet to have another tumor removed and to check on a couple other areas of concern. The unknown is the hardest part. I’m usually pretty easy-going and take life as if comes, but watching my Shorty go through cancer has pushed me into an entirely different realm of feelings. I’m not myself.

Many fellow bloggers have told me to stay strong and happy for Shorty’s sake, and that’s exactly what I need to do. Today is a new day, and I’m going to take my own (above) advice and get my life back on track… for Shorty… and for me! 🙂

Know When It’s Time To…

Today’s Challenge: Know when it’s time to let go.

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On my walk with my pug I noticed this tree. All the leaves were gone except these two beautiful red-orange leaves still hanging on… It made me think about life and all the ways we hold on tight even when, especially when, it’s time to let go. We hold on to anger. We hold onto relationships that won’t work. We hold onto things in our homes, garages and closets that clutter up our lives. We hold on to beliefs about ourselves and others. We try to hold onto our youth and some dreams that need a little tweaking. We forget that it’s ok to let go. Nature has run it’s course and it’s time for the next season.

What are some of the other ways we hold on, when it’s probably time to let go?

What would you like to let go?

Tell Somebody You #Trust…

Today’s Challenge: If you were victimized as a child, it was not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve it. If you’re still struggling, years later, tell somebody you trust and get some help.

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I wrote this many years ago…

A friend of the family molested me when I was 11 years old. Years have passed and I remember it like it happened 15 minutes ago. When I go back in the memory, my tears lose control and my body feels the pain. I am scared because for the first time I feel the agony that man caused me. I have spent years running and surviving instead of dealing with it. This little girl’s past has caught up with her. I don’t know how to be the mother she needs to hold her, protect her, and forgive her for not telling somebody so I could have gotten help.

I believe the pain is surfacing because I am in love. It should be a happy, exciting time for me, but I am also in pain every time he touches me. It is not normal to want to cry and escape while making love with the man you love. My mind races with ways to get through it hiding how I really feel. I pretend everything is great and I curl up around him and hold him until he goes to sleep. Then I roll over and the tears start and my body shakes. I sneak out of bed to avoid waking him. I go downstairs to cry. Sometimes I stay up all night crying and pacing wanting to run away and feeling, dirty and scared and trapped inside myself. If I’m lucky, my exhaustion puts me to sleep sometime in the early morning hours.

I sat in my counselor’s office and for the first time, I told the truth. She had to tell me to breathe once I started talking. She also stopped breathing. It was the most healing moment of my life. I knew I would get through it. I spent my life running from it, pretending it did not bother me. Now I understand how important it is to talk. I’m going to talk. I am going to forgive myself and get the help I need. I asked her why I had to waste so many years. She said some wait 50 years and others never face it. She said, “You’re lucky. You’re still young.”

Turn Bad Choices into…

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Today’s Challenge: Turn bad choices into life gifts.

 

 

 

 

 

I went to see Oprah on Friday night–I skipped the rest of the tour, because I really just wanted to see Oprah. She spoke for almost two hours about her life. I feel blessed that I was able to experience this amazing woman live. Although I had heard some of her life stories before, I love the reminder that when bad things happen to us, our lives often move in a better direction. This has happened to me many times… and even if I don’t see the positive in the experience right away, I know deep down that there is a lesson for me to learn. I wrote about this many years ago in my first novel, The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women. Angie, went through some hard times of homelessness and being assaulted on a bus, but she always knew that with every bad experience, something good was at work. These two experiences of Angie’s, were actually my experiences, and I’ve had many more… the one I thought about yesterday, was when I was in seventh grade, I spent the night with a friend whose father had a cupboard full of hard liquor. We thought it would be a brilliant idea to drink some, but because it was my first experience with hard booze, I over did it and became very sick, unconscious. Long story short, ever since that night, I’ve never liked hard liquor, or mixed drinks. I consider this to be an amazing gift. Don’t get me wrong, in my early twenties, I loved to drink and go crazy and have fun with my friends, but I only drank beer and I kept track of the bottles so I wouldn’t get drunk, unless of course that was the goal. 🙂 These days, I don’t drink at all. I’ve had too many people I love hurt by alcohol so I’ve just decided to skip it all together, besides, I’m a hell of a designated driver!