First Review of The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women

 

The Gentlemen's Club - book coverReview by: Zénó Vernyik

The black front cover of this average-sized book is dominated by a strange drawing of white, grey and red, but predominantly the first of these colors. It features a strangely telling composition: a woman nailed to a man, as if she were crucified. Shocking as it may seem to some, or even sacrilegious, part of the reason behind its powerfulness is the reference to one of the primary myths of Christianity: the act of self-sacrifice.In this picture, it is a woman who is crucified, or rather Woman, as such. The cross, at the same time, becomes exchanged for Man, that is, it is no longer a symbol of the axis mundi, the World Tree, on which she is crucified, but Man. Women are suffering by and for men; they are crucified on, by, but also for them.
Another crucial point can be that Man who stands in for the crucifix is just as powerless as Woman. This is exemplified by the fact that neither one of the two figures is veiled. Our savior, here, is exposed and powerless, but the case of the living crucifix is not much better. Neither one of the two figures is in the position to cover himself/herself. The only way they could perform that action would be made possible if, and only if, the crucifix stopped being a crucifix, and permitted movement for her.
The bonding function of the nail also works in both ways: Man is just as inseparably bound to Woman, as it is true the other way around. Furthermore, the calm and peaceful facial expression also suggests an air of comfort and happiness, something that can be or should be achieved through the unity of man and woman that this visual metaphor may also skillfully represent.
This complex icon that the book features tells much of what this book sets as its goal: a thorough, painful and direct analysis of all the possible kinds of relationships that are existing in contemporary bourgeois society. The handling of the topic is similar to the treatment of an ulcer by the surgeon: precise, uncompromising and cutting right to the hidden core. And the expertise of the venture is no less professional than the means. This text is visibly and evidently informed both by personal experiences and recollections, and thorough sociological research in the subject matter.
What is this book then? A testimony, an analysis, a therapeutic vehicle. But also, first and foremost, a story, and a very good one at it. The storyline is captivating, the text practically reads itself. Basically, it is impossible to put this book down. Those who found Alexandra’s Project by Rolf de Heer too didactic, might find this one, just as well over didactic, but let me make clear I am not one of those people, and I found their position fundamentally mistaken. There are issues that must be tackled openly, honestly and bravely, and directly. Just that, does not make a venture didactical, or even worse, political propaganda. Text (book) or subject (person), one cannot leave her ideological capitation behind, and should not attempt to behave as if it were so. What makes this venture particularly honest and successful is its acceptance of its ideological position and its self-criticism.
Needless to say, this is definitely not a book for those who wish to find a decorous escape from reality. There is no idealization or compromise in its portrayal of what forms a man-woman “relationship” can take. Be prepared: this book is about rape, both statutory and not, it is about prostitution and about violence both in the family and outside of it. There is suicide and murder, suffering and torture. But for those willing to take this journey, it is definitely worth it: it is empowering and gives a lot of hope. I am not saying that this work is perfect and faultless. There is no such work, of course. Mainly, the ghost of compulsory heterosexuality seems to linger among the lines and perhaps also a slight hint of hostility towards others, but it seems to be a minor issue compared to the book’s enormous achievements.
This book is a must-read for those who read and enjoyed Dawn Lyons’ The Dry Well, as well as for anyone who is willing to take the troubling journey into the lives of many women who were raped, forced into prostitution or tortured in any other way. It is also a book for those who like powerful storytelling and vivid descriptions, and do not get scared by some “extra message.”A percentage of the book’s profits will be used to support the cause of the prevention of domestic violence and sexual assaults.

The Gentlemen’s Club: Book Trailer Video

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The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women

http://www.amazon.com/author/beckydue

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MORE REVIEWS:

5.0 out of 5 stars This review is from: The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
A little girl faces physical & mental child abuse-growing up she deals with this and her mother being abused also. She becomes a young adult who lives out of her car struggling with dead end jobs until she lands a good job stripping which was short lived. Along the way she meets her new best friend and bond quickly. She ended up writing newspaper articles, woman articles for a local newspaper, stripping being one of them. How do they let themselves be subservient to those men. Why would they want to parade in front of them, or even go out on a date with them. It was just for the money and attention most would say. In todays society women are exploited everywhere. She also stresses that woman need to fight for the respect they deserve.

5.0 out of 5 stars This review is from: The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
This is a book that deal with real world issues and geared toward women. Angie is one of the main characters in the book. Life has not always been good for Angie but she keeps hope that life will improve. The book deals with a lot of issues that women face in society. Some of the issues discussed in the book are molestation, rape, incest, sexual harassment and domestic violence.
Some parts of the book are very raw to make the reader understand the reality of a subject. As well as, the book is very inspiring and leaves the reader rooting for the character to succeed. It’s important to realize that as women we are in control of our future.

5.0 out of 5 stars This review is from: The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
Everyone should read this book, but especially women. It is such a powerful story that really touches your heart. Angie, the main character, is such an amazing woman. For years, men have abused her. She has been through more than most people can even imagine and is now left homeless and really in a bad place emotionally. Most people would give up. Not Angie!! She decides that she will not be a second class citizen, she will not let her circumstances define her. Her struggle back is hard but she keeps going and even more admirable, finds other women like herself, and encourages and inspires them. You will really be impressed by this woman. I encourage you to not only read it but share it with other women in your life.

5.0 out of 5 stars This review is from: The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women by Becky Due tells the story of Angie. It is a violent and ugly story as Angie confronts her own experiences of sexual abuse and the experiences of other women. As Angie examines her own life she develops the hope and determination that she will have a better life in the future. She will not let the degradation she has suffered at the hands of men control her life or her opinions. Angie’s strength and example ultimately give hope to the women she encounters and she is able to teach them not to succumb to self-loathing and self-defeat.
Angie’s heroism and self-awareness provide an excellent role model for women and young girls in our society. This story should be assigned reading in every middle school and high school for girls and boys. Although it is violent and graphic, it also is an anthem to the virtue of following one’s individual conscience and not accepting negative self-images presented by other people.

5.0 out of 5 stars The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women by Becky Due is an amazing book. I want every woman, girl, mother, or daughter to read this book. It tells about the life of Angie, a homeless woman whose experience with various forms of sexual abuse is mirrored by the life stories of the women she encounters. It is also a story of triumph as Angie and her friend Julie do not accept the conditions of fear and self-hate that afflict so many of the women in this novel. Angie and Julie teach the other women in the book to be proud and strong and to not accept a second class status.
Though this book is a story about women and the abuse suffered by them at the hands of men, it is a story that is valuable for men and boys to read. If men and boys read this story, it would act as a wake up call for them to think about their actions.

5.0 out of 5 stars This review is from: The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women is a strong, inspiring book written by Becky Due. I could not put it down. The author is a truly amazing writer who creates such powerful imagery. The story is about a woman named Angie who has so much against her but she still manages to keep a positive attitude and eventually overcome her past. This isn’t just a feel good story about success. Due has added so many elements that are really important for all women to read about. As women, we need to stick together, help one another and this is one of the lessons this book emphasizes. There are so many more. You will learn so much and though you may not initially relate to Angie, so much of her is issues faced by all women. Some of the problems you will encounter reading this book are disturbing and upsetting but I think they are written well and add to the story. You will most likely cry a few tears before finishing this book but you will also smile big and laugh too. This is a great book and would be fun to read with a group of women friends.

5.0 out of 5 stars This review is from: The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women (Paperback)
Homeless and alone, Angie is taking a close look at her life. Her aspirations to be a writer are being pushed aside as she simply tries to survive in a difficult situation. But when she meets the vivacious Julie, she starts to open up and explore the path that has led her to this place, and begins the fight to escape her predicament.
“The Gentlemen’s Club” is the story of a woman’s growth into a powerful and outspoken advocate for her gender. Told from the perspective of a young struggling write, the story relates how the oppression and fear inflicted by men upon Angie and her friends has eaten away at their self-esteem and self-respect. Eventually, Angie finds her inner strength again with the help of a close friend, and together they work towards guiding other women to the same achievement. Ultimately, Angie researches an article about the Gentlemen’s Club, a prominent stripper’s bar, and she and Julie set about freeing the women who work there from the histories that have kept them oppressed, cumulating in a powerful act of revenge.
Becky Due is a very talented and intelligent writer. While her personal stance is ever-present in the novel, the individuality of each character comes across clearly and intensely. She has a strong message to deliver, and successfully does so with full and effective force. Her empathy with the plight of women is conveyed with great heart and passion, and she fills the characters’ lives with enough trials and tribulations to make their present difficult situations believable and understandable.
The author is a longtime advocate for women’s issues, and volunteers with Victims Services and as a guest speaker. She is educated in both Journalism and Women’s Studies. A percentage of the profits from the sale of this book go to `Alternatives to Violence.’
With a very decidedly feminist perspective, this book offers a great deal for woman in the way of self-understanding and self-realization. It is a very valuable addition to the increasing mass of feminist literature.

Ask Yourself Why

Ask Yourself Why…

Sometimes we blame… when really we should look inside ourselves and ask, “What is my role in this?”

Instead of asking, “Why doesn’t he love me?”

Ask, “Why don’t I love me?”

Instead of asking, “Why does she take take take from me and give nothing back?”

Ask, “Why do I take take take from myself and give nothing back?”

Instead of asking, “Why does he keep hurting me?”

Ask, “Why do I keep hurting me?”

The answers are inside of us, we just need to ask the right questions.

http://www.beckydue.com

I’m Stronger Because…

I’m Stronger Because…

I’m Stronger Because…

I hear this all the time.

I’m stronger because I was assaulted.

I’m stronger because of what I had to go through.

I’m stronger because I was abused.

I’m stronger because my mom left me, my dad left me.

I’m stronger because…

I’m stronger because…

What does that really mean?

A boy asked her, “Aren’t you stronger because of everything you’ve gone through?”

She answered, “Yes, but only because I had to carry more baggage than most.”

Why do we want to be stronger?

Why do we have to be stronger?

What’s wrong with a simple, happy life with no real trauma?

Couldn’t we still be strong, maybe stronger?

Couldn’t we still be brave, maybe braver?

Do we have to experience the bad before we can see the good?

Maybe it’s all about lessons in growing and being better people ourselves.

Maybe seeing the strength in others allows us to see it in ourselves.

Maybe when we see other people’s unwillingness to drown, we find our own determination to survive and succeed.

So…

To every women who is stronger because…

To every man who is stronger because…

Thank you.

Thank you for being strong enough.

Thank you for being stronger than most.

Thank you for carrying that extra baggage so we could learn from you.

Thank you for making us strong too.

http://www.beckydue.com

Abusive Relationship

Q – What if you know somebody in an abusive relationship?

A – Boost her self-esteem.

Don’t make her feel bad for staying. Don’t put her down, ever… she gets enough of that.

Tell her you are afraid for her safety. Tell her that her relationship is not normal and that it is not her fault. Be supportive and listen. Respect her decisions.

Ask her to talk to people she trusts and to reach out for help. Help her with a safety plan.

Domestic Violence Myths

Domestic Violence Myths:

  • DV effects a small percentage of the population
  • DV victims are masochistic
  • DV victims are crazy
  • Middle class women do not suffer DV as frequently or violently as poor women
  • Minority women suffer DV more frequently
  • Religion will prevent DV
  • DV victims are uneducated and have few job skills
  • Abusers are unsuccessful and lack resources to cope with the world
  • Drinking causes abusive behavior
  • Abusers are psychopathic personalities
  • Police can protect the victim of abuse
  • The abuser is not a loving partner
  • An abuser also physically abuses the children
  • Once a victim of DV, always a victim of DV
  • Once an abuser, always an abuser
  • Long-standing abusive relationships can change for the better
  • Victims of DV deserve to get beaten
  • DV victims can always leave
  • The DV will stop “when we get married”
  • Children need their father even if he is violent

Taken from Battered Women by Lenore Walker

Why Women Stay

There are many reasons why women stay in unhappy, unhealthy abusive relationships.

Women stay because of financial dependence.

Women stay because of fear.

Women stay because of religious reasons.

Women stay because they believe they have no place to go.

Women stay because they have no support system.

Women stay because they still believe they love their abuser.

Women stay because of the children.

Women stay because they fear retaliation if they try to leave.

Women stay because they believe the threats.

Women stay because they don’t feel strong enough to leave.

Women stay because they fear for their family and friends.

Women stay because they don’t want to face the truth.

Women stay because they lack job skills.

Women stay because they make excuses for their abuser.

Women stay because they don’t know what else to do.

Women stay because they want to believe he’ll change.

***Women stay because they fear the unknown***

Women stay because they know what they have and they’ve spent years learning how to survive and function in the relationship. Women stay because they know how bad it can get, and they know they can survive it. Women in these relationships don’t know what it will be like out there… what if it’s worse? It’s a scary thought to be out there…

alone…

but you could make friends.

scared…

there are people paid to protect you.

penniless…

there is help out there.

… when these beautiful, strong, courageous, fun, amazing, loving, caring, gentle, incredible women take a few small steps for themselves, for their lives, they will discover what beautiful, strong, courageous, fun, amazing, loving, caring, gentle, incredible women they truly are.

And they will get out

And they will thrive

And though not easy, they will become all that they know deep down they can be.

For more www.beckydue.com

Staying a Victim is Easy?

Some people think that staying a victim is easy

Like an excuse to live a miserable life

Staying a victim is very hard work

It’s like some creep forces you in a corner

And tells you to stay there

So you do

You become smaller and smaller

As you watch the world around you

And wonder why you feel so stuck

It’s hard to believe

That you are meant to have an amazing life

With tons love

Great friends

And dreams coming true

Staying a victim in hard and lonely and can lead to depression… It’s not easy.

www.amazon.com/author/beckydue