Can’t Multitask

multitaskMaybe because I didn’t have children, I didn’t learn how to multitask. Every parent I know, can do several things at once. For example, my sister can watch TV, listen to her son, acknowledge her husband and read a book all at the same time. My other sister can talk on the phone, breakup a dogfight, listen to her daughter, study for a test, paint the back porch, and make dinner all at the same time. These people blow my mind!

I, however, have to sit down with the TV off just to talk on the phone. If I even attempt to work on my computer, whoever is on the other end of the line always asks, “Are you busy. What are you doing?” Then I quickly step away from my computer to give them my full attention.

I would love to be a multitasker, but I’m not sure it’s in my genetic makeup. I can only do one thing at a time. Is it possible this is the deeper reason I didn’t have children? 🙂 Or do we quickly learn to multitask once our children are born?

I’m learning to accept that I will probably never be an efficient multitasker, but I have learned to enjoy the times I’m able to do more than one thing at a time. For example, in the morning after I shower, I take my dog for a walk… so you could say that I can blow dry my hair and walk my dog at the same time. 🙂

I’d love some hints on how to multitask! 🙂

First Review of The Gentlemen’s Club: A Story for All Women


The Gentlemen's Club - book coverReview by: Zénó Vernyik

The black front cover of this average-sized book is dominated by a strange drawing of white, grey and red, but predominantly the first of these colors. It features a strangely telling composition: a woman nailed to a man, as if she were crucified. Shocking as it may seem to some, or even sacrilegious, part of the reason behind its powerfulness is the reference to one of the primary myths of Christianity: the act of self-sacrifice.In this picture, it is a woman who is crucified, or rather Woman, as such. The cross, at the same time, becomes exchanged for Man, that is, it is no longer a symbol of the axis mundi, the World Tree, on which she is crucified, but Man. Women are suffering by and for men; they are crucified on, by, but also for them.
Another crucial point can be that Man who stands in for the crucifix is just as powerless as Woman. This is exemplified by the fact that neither one of the two figures is veiled. Our savior, here, is exposed and powerless, but the case of the living crucifix is not much better. Neither one of the two figures is in the position to cover himself/herself. The only way they could perform that action would be made possible if, and only if, the crucifix stopped being a crucifix, and permitted movement for her.
The bonding function of the nail also works in both ways: Man is just as inseparably bound to Woman, as it is true the other way around. Furthermore, the calm and peaceful facial expression also suggests an air of comfort and happiness, something that can be or should be achieved through the unity of man and woman that this visual metaphor may also skillfully represent.
This complex icon that the book features tells much of what this book sets as its goal: a thorough, painful and direct analysis of all the possible kinds of relationships that are existing in contemporary bourgeois society. The handling of the topic is similar to the treatment of an ulcer by the surgeon: precise, uncompromising and cutting right to the hidden core. And the expertise of the venture is no less professional than the means. This text is visibly and evidently informed both by personal experiences and recollections, and thorough sociological research in the subject matter.
What is this book then? A testimony, an analysis, a therapeutic vehicle. But also, first and foremost, a story, and a very good one at it. The storyline is captivating, the text practically reads itself. Basically, it is impossible to put this book down. Those who found Alexandra’s Project by Rolf de Heer too didactic, might find this one, just as well over didactic, but let me make clear I am not one of those people, and I found their position fundamentally mistaken. There are issues that must be tackled openly, honestly and bravely, and directly. Just that, does not make a venture didactical, or even worse, political propaganda. Text (book) or subject (person), one cannot leave her ideological capitation behind, and should not attempt to behave as if it were so. What makes this venture particularly honest and successful is its acceptance of its ideological position and its self-criticism.
Needless to say, this is definitely not a book for those who wish to find a decorous escape from reality. There is no idealization or compromise in its portrayal of what forms a man-woman “relationship” can take. Be prepared: this book is about rape, both statutory and not, it is about prostitution and about violence both in the family and outside of it. There is suicide and murder, suffering and torture. But for those willing to take this journey, it is definitely worth it: it is empowering and gives a lot of hope. I am not saying that this work is perfect and faultless. There is no such work, of course. Mainly, the ghost of compulsory heterosexuality seems to linger among the lines and perhaps also a slight hint of hostility towards others, but it seems to be a minor issue compared to the book’s enormous achievements.
This book is a must-read for those who read and enjoyed Dawn Lyons’ The Dry Well, as well as for anyone who is willing to take the troubling journey into the lives of many women who were raped, forced into prostitution or tortured in any other way. It is also a book for those who like powerful storytelling and vivid descriptions, and do not get scared by some “extra message.”A percentage of the book’s profits will be used to support the cause of the prevention of domestic violence and sexual assaults.


Fighting Back BoxerStrong, brave, courageous women are not afraid of rejection or failure.


Taken from The Woman’s Handbook: Everything you want to say to your daughter, sister, niece, friend in one simple book.

The Woman's Handbook

I wrote this book for all the young women out there… when we don’t want to preach or lecture, this book says it all… 🙂

Friends with Women


Surfing with my Niece, Danielle

Surfing with my Niece, Danielle

If you feel like you have no friendships with women, take a look around you and broaden your definition of friend.

Besides my friends, I love spending time with my sisters, nieces, aunt, and my mom.

Mothers, aunts, grandmothers, cousins, daughters, nieces, neighbors, co-workers, in-laws, etc.

There is nothing like embracing our estrogen and spending time with other great woman.


If you enjoyed this post please share it… and check out my books at 🙂

Live, Love, Learn: Safety Plan



Desperately needed

Looking outside




Where do I fit in?

How can I survive?

I’m not smart enough

I’m not strong enough

I’m not brave enough

I want to be secure

But I live in chaos and fear

I depend on you to protect me

I depend on you to support me

I depend on you to make me secure

I don’t know what to do

I can’t find my safety

I want to create my own comfort

I want to know I’m capable of taking care of myself

I want my own safety

I want my own protection

I want to support myself

I want my life to be mine

I’m searching

I’m looking

I turn inward

I search

I look

and I see…

I have talents

I am smart

I am capable

I am strong

I am brave

I can do this

This is MY life

I will create my own safety

I will take care of myself

I will find my calm

in knowing

That I am the only one responsible for me